User blog:Omegilla/Final Thoughts
I just thought I should put down some of my final thoughts regarding the group and so on. At first I didn't think it was worth putting anything down, and then I became ambivalent. At this point I've nothing better to do at the moment, so here it goes. I'll try to keep things short. And yes, Raccoon, I know I said I woudn't bother with the wiki but this isn't technicly the wiki. Its my blog in Wikia. To start off with, I must say my entire time in the group really was a huge waste of time. Talk about pissing in the wind. For all the time spent, if I must say that there is anything regarding all of this that I do still care about, its the amount of time I put in here. Just think of all the hours that could've been spent doing other things. I don't entirely resent ya'll for it. It was my choice, afterall, but had I known it would come down to this, I'dve just kept team-swapping Hero back in BF2 on those old Clone RPG servers until he hated me so much he'dve never let me on his server. Next is that I must say the whole nature of my expulsion baffles me. Atleast, somewhat. Not sure what it really was that did it. After all, Benndak trolled and attacked me for a good long while and it wasn't until he decided to leave because he got bored that he stopped finally. Though, of course, each of you were on his side. Raccoon and Paladin, especially. Hero, you were indeed on his side, though. You might have asked him to stop but you didn't really do anything about it. It was just a bad stench in your nose, really, how I was being treated. It broke away from the properness you desired. You didn't care enough to actually step in. No one did. To the contrary, you all piled on. Sad thing for me is, I sort've forgave ya'll for it. At the time I thought ya'll had perhaps felt some shame for it... notably, not enough to ever give me any sort of apology. Not that I am asking for one now. I am so far beyond caring or desiring such recognition at this point. I am just recounting things, pondering our past together, as well as our present and future (Though the latter two, of course, not together.) For all your nastiness and ugliness in the treatment you put upon me, on Fallen, and on each other at different intervals its really a surprise to me. And thats the funny thing. The whole "tolerance" bit ya'll liked to throw at me. I suppose it never came into your heads that perhaps while you might have seen the ways I offend you, that you couldn't bother to think of how you had offended me, or were offending me. I mean, just look back. Everything that I tolerated so stupidly. No apologies, no nothing. All I wanted was to RP, to game and to chat. And yet it was you who could not tolerate me. Again, I am not demanding those apologies. Such a time for that is long since past. But it is certainly something to look towards. I find it worthy of consideration, which ya'll obviously did not. The expediancy of my expulsion rather gives weight to such an assumption. Never a word to me before hand and in fact did not even bring anything regarding the matter up to me until just then and there. A simple "get out" with nothing else. Delivered by one. Also, the removing me from the Hamachi network bit was a really nice touch. I had hoped perhaps I might have earned a bit more courtesy. I am not demanding it. Would be irrelevent now if I did, but your actions do really show to me how we never really were friends, or atleast, we hadn't been for some time. I suppose your inability to tolerate things outside yourself just became too much of a bother. Though I can't say its not expected of Paladin, who will pretend to be offline just to avoid people. Pathetic, but that doesn't make it any less reasonable to have expected. And indeed, I do wonder about RP, as well. None of you have even PMed me post-expulsion to ask me regarding my RP contributions. For the record, if it is relevant, you're free to do with my things as you please. But it leaves me to assume three different scenarions. Either one, I mean so little as to it being not worth to even enforce the courtesy of asking, as it has been done with others, or you've simply retconned my existence in Retribution, or have abandoned it. And I really must wonder about ES, as well. I was one of the main driving forces behind that. Thats going to die too, won't it? Regardless, I must say one last thing, because I won't bother with any big individual thing. Though you may dislike me for where I stand on things, you're wrong big time on one thing. I know I am a good person. Theres nothing you can say to make me doubt that. If there is one thing I can always hold over all of you its the fact that I actually stood up for people. I defended everyone despite my standing with them when I thought it nescessary. When Fallen was on the wrong end of the stick I defended him even though I still didn't like Fallen. When Raccoon was being mistreated by Hero about the whole skin situation I resolved it as fairly as I could. When Raccoon was being an ass to Hero about skins I called him out for it. Even if I was wrong at times, because yes, I am imperfect, I atleast stood up for people. I was honest whenever I could be. I let people know where they stood with me. Thats more then any of you can say. None of you did that. You were mean, vicious, indifferent, unhelpful, quarrelsome. And I expect when you read this you will refute all of it in its entirety. After all, I am just such a horrible person, and everything I say is propaganda. So convenient you can just forget your pasts and suddenly I am the monster. Anyways, I'm done. ....................../´¯/) ....................,/¯../ .................../..../ ............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸ ........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\ ........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...') .........\.................'...../ ..........''...\.......... _.·´ '' ............\..............( ..............\.............\... Category:Blog posts